Why I Went Away and My Early Days with Throwdini

Hello Everyone: I am very sorry for my long absence. It happened like this: my wife Gladys mistakenly wall-papered me into our living room wall last summer (Thanks to our youngest child's sharp left eye, Gladys finally caught her error just the other day).

Anyway, now that little mistake has been corrected, I am very glad to be back among you, seeking your guidance (and, of course, offering my own help).

I have just come from the Smartest Man I Have Ever Met’s Web page, where I have discovered that the great and very famous knife-throwing expert, The Great Throwdini, is still performing, because, I am proud to say, I was his personal assistant a long time ago, back in the beginning of his career, when he was just getting started and not very accurate at throwing knives.

Shortly after I started working as Throwdini's assistant, I sprang leaks every time I took a drink, earned the nickname "Scar" and became well known at local emergency rooms. At first, we were known as "Throwdini and His Human Pin Cushion."

Though I had to resign (due to massive blood loss) to this day, I carry very many fond mementos upon my person of our brief but rewarding association to the delight of many plastic surgeons.

Again, I apologize for my very long absence.

And thank you for your help.